Back in my 'other' College days three of us [I think one of ‘us’ was ‘Thor’ - a giant Norse looking dude with long platinum blonde hair, the other was Justin - who hated all 'just in' puns] went to out to the pub - in Kenilworth - The Three Brothers Pub - it’s gone now - there was a Grocery Store opposite. It was right before a big exam.
The place was small and dark, and the bar itself was tiny. We had the whole place to ourselves and sat at a table near the front at a plate glass window, ordered a few beers and got into some serious discussion - I think it was about Descartes, and how it could be that thinking he was, was such a stellar achievement. Anyway, we’re having a second round and someone decides that they are hungry - we all are - so someone asks the bartender if he has pizza. Sure - he has pizza - how many slices? How about 6 slices? Bartender nods and head off into the back. Discussion on Descartes continues - he invented analytic geometry as an instrument of torture for school children. I think we all agreed on that point.
“Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The barkeep asks, would you like a beer? Descartes replies, I think not, and promptly disappears." Robin Williams.
I am busy watching a man that looks like our bartender’s twin brother - bright red shirt, stocky, dark brown hair cut close -- he’s walking into the Acme Supermarket across the street. I study him for a second - look back and see our bartender has not returned from the back, and we continue talking - this I remember - we are now dry and considering refilling our mugs directly from the tap. No sign of life in the place.
”There was this magnificent mathematical horse. You could teach it arithmetic, which it learned with no difficulty, algebra was a breeze, it could even prove theorems in euclidean geometry, but when you tried to teach it analytic geometry, it would rear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously neigh loudly and make violent head motions in resistance. The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse." Ugh. That’s just as bad as an empty beer glass.
“Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world's not.
And faith, 'tis pleasant till 'tis past:
The mischief is that 'twill not last.”
A.E. Housman
I am occasionally glancing out the window, and I see the bartender’s twin brother again, exiting the building, with what sure look to be two frozen pizzas in his hand. I point him out to the other guys - ‘Hey - that sure looks like our bartender. And he’s got frozen pizza.’ First reaction from Thor - ’Nah - the lombungr - I’ll bet my hammer…err...Odin's beard - that couldn’t be him - the guy wouldn’t just leave us here with the bar unattended.’ We keep watching - he’s headed to our right, crossing the street and….he’s out of our sight. He’s either our bartender, his twin, or we’ve entered the Twilight Zone. Having Thor with us isn't helping matters.
So another few minutes go by, and lo, our bartender emerges from the backroom with 4 paper plates, and hands us each a plate. He’s got one for himself as well. We get another round. Pizza doesn’t taste bad at all - just like the kind we have at home in the freezer actually. Hit it with the crushed red pepper flakes. Our conversation changes then to how much profit we figured the bartender made - including his free lunch. We even ask him, a bit too late, ’Hey - how much for the slices?” Doing the math - he made out well.
We were so thoroughly impressed with the service and the events of that moment that we bought T-shirts and changed into them before heading back for the exam - the T-shirts were light blue colored and said, “I just had a great time at Three Brothers Pub’ and featured an inebriated old man clinging to a lamp post. I remember we walked into the exam room and I grabbed the mic and belted out a line from 'Yes the River knows' by The Doors.
Free fall flow, river flow on and on it goes
Breath under water till the end....
Thor was already seated at a desk, trying to focus, but turning red and bursting out with some hysterical laughter. SHHHHHHH!!! [I was getting an A in the class no matter how I did on the exam] and I was chased away by a moderator to a desk with a blue book.
I had just had a great day at Three Brothers Pub studying ergonomics.
What did the the Zen Buddhist say to the bartender serving store bought frozen pizza at the Three Brother’s Pub? "Can you make me one with everything?" After paying, the Zen Buddhist said, ‘Hey buddy - I gave you a $20 - where’s my change?’
And the bartender replied, “Ah…change comes from within.’